Issue 60—June 20, 1979 to October 10, 1979
This issue seems to glide sweetly through the summer of 1979, from Brockwood to Saanen and back to Brockwood without anything major occurring. But Krishnaji’s health and fatigue are worrying, especially considering he is about to return to India which always depleted him.
The Memoirs of Mary Zimbalist: Issue #60
Mary: We start today’s discussion with the events of June 20, 1979, and for that day my diary reads, ‘It is a hot day. Krishnaji did a videotaped discussion with Brockwood teachers. I went to London with Dorothy and some students. I went alone to Harrods for some photocopying, then to a Victoria and Albert Museum exhibit and looked at other things till mid-afternoon. After that, I went to Betsy’s for tea and a rest. Finally, I went by bus and Tube to the Roundhouse theater and joined the Brockwood group, where we saw Ibsen’s Lady from the Sea played by Vanessa Redgrave and Terence Stamp. I drove home with Dorothy and some others, getting back by 1 a.m.’
The next day, ‘Krishnaji and I went to the Petersfield train station to go to London, but the train was late and Krishnaji was sick to his stomach, so we came back to Brockwood and he spent the day in bed. It is a colic pain with nausea, but it went away. We were to have had lunch with Mary L. and discuss the new biography, but she may come down here next week.’
On June twenty-second it only says that, ‘I did desk work all day. The weather was cold and damp again. Krishnaji rested all day except for getting up for lunch.’ And the following day it just says that, ‘Krishnaji did a videotaped discussion with teachers in the afternoon.’
June twenty-fourth. ‘At noon, Krishnaji talked to the whole school. Lou Blau telephoned me after being in Malibu with the geologist and Max, and they agreed to take $10,000 off the price of the house for the leach field problems.’ The ground had sunk so badly that the leach field was damaged and had to be replaced.
June twenty-fifth, ‘I met Mary Links at the Petersfield station. We talked with Krishnaji before and after lunch on things for the second volume of the biography. I made notes as I did last time.’ I would make notes of these discussions and then send them off to Mary.
The next day it just says, ‘Krishnaji talked to the students alone . I went to the staff meeting.’ When Krishnaji talked alone to the students, the staff would usually have a staff meeting.
June twenty-seventh, ‘I went alone to London and did several errands, and bought an Aquascutum coat. Then I went to a matinee of The King and I with Ginny McKenna and Yul Brynner.’ They were the actors. ‘I went backstage afterward and had tea with Ginny, took the Tube back to Waterloo, and the 7:20 p.m. train back to Petersfield. Krishnaji had talked to Kathy Harris and Dr. Rahula.’
June twenty-eighth. ‘Krishnaji held two videotaped discussions with Dr. Rahula, Phiroz Mehta, Narayan, Dr. Parchure, Stephen Smith, Shakuntala, Scott Forbes, and me. The first was in the morning and again in the afternoon.’
For the next two days, most of what was happening was packing.
July first. ‘I did as much laundry as possible before lunch at 12:30 p.m. George Digby and Sybil Dobinson were there. Dorothy, Montague, and Doris left in the Land Rover for Saanen. Ingrid drove Krishnaji and me to Heathrow, where at 3:55 p.m. we went by Swiss Air to Geneva and the Hôtel des Bergues. After arriving, I rang Vanda at Tannegg, where she and Fosca had just arrived. We dined in the Amphitryon pleasantly.’ That was the restaurant in the hotel, and it was a favorite restaurant.
July second. ‘We got up late and, after breakfast, went to Jacquet.’ That was where he had ties made. ‘We lunched at the Amphitryon, then went to Patek, Grand Passage for an Adidas training suit for Krishnaji, and the newest Braun shaver.’ [S chuckles.] ‘Hertz delivered a Ford Fiesta to the hotel, and we drove off along the lake, up through Lausanne and so via Bulle, etcetera, to Gstaad, arriving at Chalet Tannegg at 6:30 p.m. Vanda was there, also the David Mustarts’—that sounds familiar but brings nothing to my memory. ‘They left.’ [S laughs.] Never to be seen again as far as I can remember. ‘Waiting for me was a letter from Henry Bamberger’—that’s the man who pays the bills for me—‘about data on payments of the Ojai building for tax purposes.’
July third. ‘We slept late. It was a quiet day, and the weather was cold. Krishnaji stayed in bed. Dr. Parchure arrived with Harsh and Claire. I wrote to Henry about finances.’
The fourth. ‘I went with Dr. Parchure and Ulrich Brugger to see Chalet Rehbock, where Dr. Parchure and others from Brockwood are staying. It is near the Park Hotel. Then I did errands. Krishnaji rested but came to the lunch table, and Frances and Mar de Manziarly lunched with us. In the afternoon, Krishnaji had a haircut, and in the evening, Bamberger telephoned me about permission to pay Max for the grading of the Malibu land. Earth piling is completed and Ramiras, the geologist, is paid. Dr. Parchure confirmed my fear for Verna.’ Oh dear, yes; Verna had a malignancy, and she died very soon after we learned of it.
Scott: Oh, yes. Verna Kreuger. She was a lovely woman. She worked in the kitchen at Brockwood from the earliest days.
M: A lovely woman. And had a terrible cancer, breast cancer, which she revealed only to Dr. Parchure before he left, and she died a few days later, as I recall.
S: Yes. She was the first person to die at Brockwood after we acquired it.
M: The next day. ‘I went to fetch Dr. Parchure for Krishnaji’s early exercises, then went to the bank and did other errands in the village. I needed to find something to protect the carpets when Krishnaji got his oil massage from Dr. Parchure. Krishnaji came to the table with Vanda, Dr. Parchure, and me for lunch. He didn’t walk for fear of the sun and hay fever.’
July sixth. ‘I fetched Dr. Parchure to Tannegg, and again did errands in the village. Vanda invited Sofia and Carlos Silva to lunch.’ They were ex-Brockwood people who now lived in Rome, and she was an acupuncturist who treated Filomena.
S: Yes, I remember them.
M: ‘I telephoned Ingrid at Brockwood about Shakuntala coming here. Verna is worse.’
July seventh. ‘Again, I fetched Dr. Parchure to Tannegg. Dorothy, Montague, and Doris arrived in the Land Rover, so I went to see them in the Saanen camping ground, and told them about Verna’s illness. Krishnaji wrote to Verna and so did I.’
July eighth. ‘I fetched Dr. Parchure to Tannegg at 6:15 a.m. as Krishnaji needed to be ready to give his first Saanen talk in the tent at 10:30. It was on thinking together. He spoke for exactly one hour. Dr. Parchure returned with us in the car and he gave Krishnaji a massage. Krishnaji came to the lunch table, and Peter Racz was there.’ He was South American, and was around for a while. I’ve forgotten what…
S: Was he a student at Brockwood?
M: I think so.
S: I can’t remember him.
M: Anyway, he was at lunch. ‘It was a gray day, so Krishnaji was able to go out. I had fetched medicines from Dr. Scheef brought to Saanen by Ingeborg von Massenbach.’ She brought what Krishnaji called “the pink pills.”’ I don’t know what they were.
S: Ah yes. “The magic pink pills.”
M: Yes, that’s right, “the magic pink pills.” [Laughs]
S: [chuckles] But they worked wonders with Krishnaji’s hay fever.
M: They did. ‘So, Krishnaji now has 200 pink pills against hay fever. We had our own first walk through the woods. Dorothy spoke to Ingrid by phone, who said that the doctor gave Verna only ten days more to live. Ingrid went up to give Dorothy’s messages to Verna, and told her that Krishnaji’s and my letters were on their way. She responded and then quietly died. Krishnaji had seen the Siddoos in the afternoon.’
July ninth. ‘I fetched Dr. Parchure, as usual, then went to see Dorothy briefly. I brought Mar de Manziarly up for lunch, after which I worked at the desk. Later in the afternoon, I shopped with Dr. Parchure. Sofia was at supper with Vanda and me. When I took her down afterward, I met Shakuntala at the Gstaad station at 7:20 p.m. I tripped in my sandals and tore a ligament in my second left foot toe.’ [Chuckles.] How can you…? Anyway, ‘I took Shaku to Mrs. Bosevain’s Chalet Rehbock. Mrs. Bosevain lived at Chalet Rehbock, where Dr. Parchure, Denise, and Srinivasan are staying. Shaku told me further details of Verna.’
July tenth. ‘My foot is fairly sore but I can walk. Dr. Parchure splinted it to the adjoining toe. Krishnaji gave his second Saanen talk, which was more on thinking together and what is a good society. He was bothered by hay fever, though he takes one pink pill each night. Mr. Mirabet, the Spaniard, came at 4 p.m. to make his yearly contribution. Jean-Michel Maroger brought Diane and his mother. Diane is stronger, walks better, can stand without support. Sofia gave me Chinese massage.’ Chinese? Really?
July eleventh. ‘Krishnaji’s hay fever has gone into his bronchial tubes. I fetched Shakuntala to lunch. Frances brought Ronnie Naidu of South Africa.’ I can’t remember him. ‘Anneke came to see Krishnaji at 4 p.m., and Diane saw Krishnaji at 4:30 p.m. Sofia gave my foot another massage. Krishnaji had a slight fever in the evening. Dr. Parchure came and slept in the adjoining room,’ next to Krishnaji’s room.
S: Yes, I remember it.
M: July twelfth. ‘Krishnaji has no fever but his voice is very hoarse. He wouldn’t cancel the talk, and as he spoke, his voice cleared somewhat. He came back and went to bed but got up to see Diane in the afternoon. In late afternoon, in Saanen, Diane fell from her tricycle and fractured her upper right leg.’ That child, if she fell down, she would break major bones.
M: ‘Daphne telephoned to tell us about Diane, and later Jean-Michel rang. She is in traction in the hospital and they will stay here until she can be moved to La Maudière.’ La Maudière was their home in France.
The thirteenth. ‘At 11 a.m. there was the annual meeting of all the committees of the different countries at Tannegg. Krishnaji came to it. There was a discussion of the role of committees in preventing interpretation, etcetera. Mary Cadogan, Jane Hammond, Anneke, Dr. Parchure, Vanda, and I were at lunch. At 3 p.m., there was a continuation of the meeting without Krishnaji which was held at Chalet Haldi in Saanen.’ I forget—I think some of the committee people were staying there or something. ‘Jean-Michel came to look at the apartment downstairs for Diane and Marie-Bertrande.’
The next day, ‘Vanda left for Florence. Jean-Michel rented the downstairs east apartment and we provided the middle room for Diane as the hospital traction bed can get through its exterior door. Krishnaji, Dr. Parchure, and I lunched at the table. After lunch, the van came with Diane in her bed and about ten Brockwood young men carried the bed carefully in.’ [Chuckles.] ‘It just fit in the doorway. Krishnaji came down and saw Diane. In the evening, he had a lot of coughing.’
July fifteenth. ‘Krishnaji gave the fourth Saanen talk. Dr. Lichti came to lunch with Krishnaji, Dr. Parchure, and me.’
The next day. ‘Both Siddoo sisters came at 4 p.m. to see Krishnaji. He settled Sarjit Siddoo’s monastic notions of the school; celibacy is not required.’ [Both laugh.] ‘Edgar Graf arrived for the first time this summer. He is better and will stay a bit. He is still in charge of the Saanen Gathering though he has not been here.’
July seventeenth. ‘Dr. Parchure moved up to Tannegg in the early morning, then I took him down to the tent. I did some marketing, then went with Krishnaji to the tent for his fifth Saanen talk. Krishnaji bought a pair of loafers on the way back. Scott Forbes, Kathy, and Dr. Parchure were at lunch. Krishnaji ate on a tray. At 4 p.m., he gave an interview for Dutch Radio to a Dorith Witte.’ She represented the Dutch Radio. ‘And at 5 p.m., Magda from Barcelona brought an old Spaniard and his wife to meet Krishnaji.’ Magda was a nice Spanish woman.
July eighteenth. ‘A letter came from Erna about Essie Bates giving a $50,000 trust donation for the Ojai school.’ My goodness. ‘Dorothy came up and told of a German lady wishing to make regular donations to Brockwood and a Greek lady, Mrs. Elly Abravanel, came to tell Krishnaji she wished to start a Krishnamurti school in Greece. Some nice young French people came to see Krishnaji but saw only me. [Chuckles.] Still they were very pleasant—Roger Nichol and Geneviève. I don’t know who they were, but they were nice. The latter sent a plant. I fetched Anneke and Mar di Manziarly to lunch; Krishnaji and Dr. Parchure were there, too. When I took them back, and I fetched Pascaline Mallet up for tea. Mar gave me copies of her childhood diaries for the archives.’ I gave them to the Brockwood archives.
The nineteenth. ‘Krishnaji accidentally bent his dental bridge a little. He gave Saanen talk number six. The topic was, “Can we discover a central fact that will answer all problems?”’ [Chuckles.] ‘He said, “Knowledge is part of ignorance because it is always incomplete” and “Observation, action, and intelligence, from this comes love, compassion. When there is compassion, there is no pain, conflict, or suffering.” Krishnaji, Dr. Parchure, and I lunched at the table. At 4:30 p.m., Dorothy and both Siddoos came to discuss schools and were joined at 5:30 p.m. by the Greek woman, Mrs. Elly Abravanel and a friend. She wishes to start a school in Greece. I took Daphne and we had supper with Brockwood students in their Chalet Cigale. It was very nice.’
Then there isn’t anything of note until the twenty-second, when Krishnaji gave the seventh talk. ‘On the way to the tent Krishnaji said, “What will I speak about?” He began with, “Why are you so quiet?” and he went on to speak of that. What is one searching for, etcetera. The mind is a still mind. He finished in an hour, as he has each talk this summer. He rested and I made a fruit dish for lunch. We were all at the table: Krishnaji, Suzanne, Hugues, their daughter Marjolaine, Jean-Michel and Daphne, Dorothy, and Montague. Krishnaji became tired and so slept. A young French boy came to the door wanting to talk to Krishnaji. I spoke to him for a while. Krishnaji visited Diane, as he does twice every day.’
July twenty-third. ‘Letters from Mary and Joe, who are happily spending their summer at Brockwood…’ Do you remember how they would often spend their summer at Brockwood while we were all in Switzerland?
S: Yes, I do.
M: ‘…and from Amanda, who said Phil’s book has been taken by McGraw-Hill. I marketed. At lunch were only Krishnaji, Dr. Parchure and me. Krishnaji saw Diane as usual. We went on the first walk since Krishnaji’s bronchitis, to the end of the wood. My foot was well enough to go, too.’ [Both chuckle.]
Then there isn’t much until July twenty-fifth. ‘I took Dr. Parchure to the tent, then returned for Krishnaji. At 10:30 a.m., he began the first of five daily public discussions in the tent. Edward Ani and Christian did their act together.’ In fact, Krishnaji stopped taking questions from the audience because of them.
S: Yes, they were so aggressive and antagonistic and confrontational.
S: There’s an interesting letter in your files from Ani saying that, apparently, because you had confronted him after one of these times, and he was saying, yes, he realizes his wife is very difficult; he’s going to stop coming to the talks or the discussions, not because he’s any less enthusiastic but only because you claim that his behavior hasn’t been right. And he professes to be absolutely stunned that he’s been a problem.
M: Well, here it says: ‘Edward Ani and Christian did their double act to chivy Krishnaji. Ani said, “Why don’t you go?” Peter Racz was at lunch with Krishnaji and me and Dr. Parchure. Dr. Parchure went with Edgar Graf to see an acupuncturist in Berne. I went to supper with Scott and Kathy. Harsh, Claire, Brian Nicholson, and Dorothy were there, too. Marie-Bertrande arrived in Gstaad.’
The twenty-sixth. ‘I drove Dr. Parchure to the tent early. Then came back for Krishnaji and the second public discussion. There was no heckling. Krishnaji spoke on love, what it is not, etcetera; on listening, and that a lack of love prevents listening. If you do not listen, which implies change, do not try to blame the speaker. It is your fault. Marie-Bertrande, Jean-Michel, Nadia and Nicolas Kossiakof, and Dr. Parchure were at lunch with Krishnaji and me. It is the first meeting of the Marogers and the Kossiakofs. Krishnaji was tired. He saw Diane in the morning and at 4 p.m., but didn’t feel like a walk.’
July twenty-seventh. ‘Krishnaji held the third public discussion. Harsh, Claire, and Brian Nicholson to lunch. Krishnaji came to the table. He talked alone with Harsh afterward. I drove Harsh back to Saanen. I did marketing and errands. Krishnaji and I walked to the end of the woods, and Krishnaji saw Diane as usual.’
On the twenty-eighth, ‘Krishnaji held the fourth public discussion, after which we lunched alone.’
The next day, ‘Krishnaji held the fifth and final public discussion of this summer. Christian was loud and insulting, demanding that Krishnaji reveal “his secret,” something he withholds. It was ugly. Krishnaji held the meeting together and went on. Dorothy and Montague lunched with Krishnaji and me. We discussed Kathy Harris’s complaints and attitudes in the school on sex.’ I don’t know what that was. ‘We took a walk to the end of the wood.’
July thirtieth. ‘It was a hot, beautiful day. Jackie Siddoo came by to say goodbye to Krishnaji, and he told her not to hesitate to close the school if it didn’t work out. He also told her that he knew about her husband’s talk against Brockwood and himself. Krishnaji and I lunched downstairs with Marie-Bertrande, Jean-Michel, Daphne, and Diane. Marie-Bertrande and Jean-Michel came up afterward, and Krishnaji discussed with them and me what Brockwood’s policy should be on sex.’ It doesn’t say what we said. [S chuckles.] ‘I did errands and bought travel tickets. An Italian woman reached for Krishnaji through his bathroom window,’ [both laugh] ‘trying to grab him.’ His bathroom window looked out on the entrance and driveway. [M laughs again.] ‘I saw Dorothy and Montague in the campground. They leave tomorrow for Brockwood. Frances McCann came to supper with me. Krishnaji saw Harsh and Claire at 4 p.m. Dr. Parchure went to talk to U.G. Krishnamurti.’ He was a ratty little man, who was very antagonistic to Krishnaji, and all the time he would get people to come and criticize Krishnaji, and have his little group over which he would preside.
S: Yes. He’d have his own little meetings, and he’d criticize Krishnamurti terribly for having his meetings, but he’d have his meetings at the same time in Saanen and drew people like Ani and Christian…
M: Like Ani, yes. They were thick with U.G. Krishnamurti.
S: Yes. I think he used to fire them up to be ugly and nasty in the dialogues.
M: I think so. And he came to Saanen, as far as I can see, just because of the crowd that Krishnaji attracted, and to be against Krishnaji.
M: He didn’t come there the rest of the year.
S: I know, I know. [Both chuckle.]
M: July thirty-first. ‘Krishnaji dictated ten letters. He saw Diane, talked to Daphne, and talked to Jean-Michel. At lunch, there was Krishnaji, Dr. Parchure, and me. In the afternoon, Krishnaji saw Diane as usual, and we walked to the end of the wood.’
August first, ‘Krishnaji slept poorly. He is tired. He rested in the morning, and did no exercise. He saw Diane and talked a bit with Marie-Bertrande. He, Dr. Parchure, and I lunched. I typed all morning and slept all afternoon. No walk. It’s a Swiss holiday.’
The next day, ‘I worked at the desk. Krishnaji is still tired but saw the Kossiakofs in the afternoon.’
August third. ‘I went with Dr. Parchure to buy Vitamin B for Fosca. Krishnaji rested, saw Diane, lunched with me and Dr. Parchure. At 4 p.m., we went to buy a pair of sandals for him to wear in India. He had a haircut. At 5 p.m., Ortolani came to see him briefly.’ We’ve identified Bruno Ortolani?
M: ‘He was a nice man, an old friend of Krishnaji’s from Italy, obviously. He’s the one who, when he’d speak up in the tent, Krishnaji would say, “Darling sir,” etcetera. ‘It is the fiftieth anniversary of his dissolution of the Order of the Star .’
S: Ah, yes.
M: ‘I had a visit with the Marogers. Ariane has joined them.’ That was the eldest daughter, and the only one who didn’t come to Brockwood.
The fourth. ‘I did marketing. Diane had her leg X-rayed. It is healing well. Krishnaji is still feeling tired. The Marogers asked me to come up the Wassengrat’—that’s a mountain in Schönried. ‘Marie-Bertrande and I walked down from the ski lift, while Jean-Michel and Ariane went to the top. I was back by 5:30 p.m. Krishnaji had walked to the river. He went to sleep early.’
August fifth. ‘Krishnaji slept well, almost nine hours. It was a cloudless, shining morning. Krishnaji “did” my foot and said it was less swollen. He ascribed it to my exercise yesterday going up the Wassengrat with the Marogers and said I should walk more. I said yes. He then said, “You say, ‘yes.’ When?”’ [Both chuckle.] ‘So now, at his urging, at 7 a.m., I went up the hill and then through the woods where it was so cold my hands were numb. When I was finally in the sun, I held them out and handfuls of sunlight warmed them. How beautiful is the world in the early morning. I had a long talk at breakfast with Dr. Parchure about Krishnaji’s health. Krishnaji has low blood pressure, a slow pulse and, with age, his metabolism slows, so Parchure tries to keep the body fit and stimulated through exercise without tiring Krishnaji. Krishnaji inclines to overdo things; he pushes his body, and is no longer a good judge of its capacities. Krishnaji will seldom stop an exercise on his own. Parchure watches his face. If Krishnaji glances at him, Parchure interprets it that he needs Parchure to call a halt. He spoke of the likely manner of Krishnaji’s death. He doesn’t feel it will be a disease, cancer, etcetera.’ Well, he was wrong. ‘Or of a heart attack in a sudden seizure way, but a slowing down of the body. He said that if Krishnaji becomes unconscious with cold hands and feet, I should rub them to stimulate circulation lest he slip away. But he thinks Krishnaji will know the time of his death and will tell me and then there should be no interference. Parchure talked to Krishnaji during the massage about some of these things, and Krishnaji brought it up at lunch. Parchure was able to get him to see the problem of getting Krishnaji to realize his own physical capabilities, to harbor his strength and energies. We brought up the subject of the public discussions. Krishnaji now thinks it was the unpleasantness in the tent Sunday that has left him so tired all week, and agreed that we should try the old way of having written questions from the audience and he answering them rather than these “dialogues” that don’t work with a thousand people. He also brought up the “interpretation” problem, and his telling trustees to speak, which has the danger of starting interpretations. Krishnaji said, “It doesn’t work.” I told him of my conversation with a man named Weeks, who seemed pleased when I cautioned him that I was speaking without any spiritual authority, and that I could see him going off and saying, “The people around Krishnaji don’t know what Krishnaji is talking about either.”’ [M and S both chuckle.] ‘Krishnaji laughed and said, “You can’t win.”’ [S laughs again.] ‘He went back to the health question and said he has always felt protected. Something, a “they” is looking after him for the purpose of the teachings. He feels that “they” will decide the time and manner of his death and he will know it. He asked Dr. Parchure how the Buddha died; apparently of eating bad food, but who knows, really. Krishnaji slept in the afternoon and so did I. Then, we went for the same walk to the river. I spoke to Filomena in Rome about my arrival Friday, and then I spoke to Vanda in Florence about her arrival here Thursday. After supper, I read to Krishnaji excerpts from Mar de Manziarly’s diary, which she has given me for the archives. It contains parts of letters from Nitya. One, when he’—that’s Nitya—‘spoke of tiring things “and the most tiring thing of all is Theosophy.”’ [S chuckles] ‘And his description of CWL’s boys in Australia: “They were all kings and saints in former lives, but now, unhappily, Australians.”’ [Laughter.] ‘Krishnaji’s face lit up with laughter and youth. And then a quotation from Krishnaji, “It’s strange; I can’t remember him,” he said. But his laughter had a bright flash of recognition in it. “I wonder what he would have done if he had lived, but that is speculation and we mustn’t speculate.” I still get that feeling of sadness when I read or think of Nitya, a sense of loss.’ There is something about Nitya that I always found anguishing…
S: Yes, yes.
M: …the tragedy of his sickness and dying and…
S: And the hole it left in Krishnaji’s life.
M: Yes. And everything that they’d planned to do together.
S: Yes. And he would’ve protected Krishnaji. There wouldn’t have been the Rajagopal nonsense.
M: That’s right, there would not have been Rajagopal. It’s one of those strange things of, I don’t know, of fate or something.
August sixth. ‘Pupul wrote in June asking me to ask Krishnaji about “the missing years” of 1939 to 1947, the war years, when he stayed in Ojai. What did he do? Whom did he see, etcetera. She says he reappeared in India in 1947 differently. I asked Krishnaji Pupul’s questions, and taped his replies. At lunch there was only Krishnaji, Dr. Parchure, and me. In the afternoon, I went to the bank to review the Alzina account, and did some errands. When I came back, Krishnaji had hoarseness and a slight cold, so I went on the walk alone.’
The next day, ‘I walked toward Gruben in the early morning, then did letters, and errands in the village. Krishnaji still has a slight cold. In the evening I went with Jean-Michel, Ariane, and Daphne to a concert in the Saanen church—the Berlin String Quartet played Beethoven, Hindemith, and Mozart. Marie-Bertrande is not feeling well.’
August eighth. ‘I climbed partway up the Hornberg in the early morning. On my return, I made fruit salad, etcetera, for a buffet lunch. At lunch were Krishnaji, Dr. Parchure, Marie-Bertrande, Jean-Michel, Ariane, Daphne, Jane Ross…’ Who was Jane Ross?
S: She was a very nice student at Brockwood.
M: Ah…‘and Diane was carried upstairs on her board. Also, their friend, Madame Solange de Marignac, who had a long private conversation with Krishnaji in the afternoon. She is hooked on Rajneesh.’ [Both chuckle lightly.] ‘I talk with Marie-Bertrande, and Krishnaji joined us.’
The next day it just says that I walked through the woods in the morning and Vanda arrived from Florence in the afternoon.
August tenth. ‘Jean-Michel, Diane, Daphne, and Jane Ross leave for La Maudière’—Marie-Bertrande and Ariane had already gone. ‘I left at 9:45 a.m. and drove via Le Col du Pillon and Aigle to the Geneva Airport. I returned the car to Hertz and flew to Rome at 2 p.m. Filomena and her son Mario met me. I went with them to Filomena’s flat where I stay till Sunday. Catherina’—that’s her sister—‘Mistika’—that’s her niece— ‘Vincenza’—a cousin of somebody—‘Lelo’—a grandson—‘and Peppino’—another grandson—‘were there. We talked at length.’
August eleventh. ‘I was in Rome, and spent a quiet day talking with Filomena. It was warm but not hot. In Gstaad, Radha Burnier came to lunch and saw Krishnaji before returning to India Monday.’
The next day, ‘Mario and Filomena took me to Fiumicino.’ That’s the airport. ‘I flew back on Alitalia to Geneva, picked up a larger Hertz, a Taunus, and left at 2:30 p.m. for Gstaad, going via Bulle, and arriving at 4:45 p.m. to find Krishnaji looking out his bathroom window. He said, “I knew you were coming. The deva told me.”’ [Both laugh.] ‘We went for a walk to the end of the wood. Frances McCann came to supper with Vanda, Dr. Parchure, and me.’
August thirteenth, ‘A lovely day, but I felt more like moving slowly than climbing up the hill. I started packing for our Wednesday departure. Dr. Parchure said he had talked at length with Krishnaji about looking after his health, and Krishnaji has agreed to be mindful of drafts, etcetera, and listen to me when I suggest covering his throat when he walks at Brockwood.’ [Chuckles.] ‘At lunch there was Krishnaji, Vanda, Parchure, and me. At 4:30 p.m., I took Krishnaji to the village for a haircut. We came back and walked to the river. He said, “I want to talk to you seriously. Please listen. You must outlive me. I’m going to live a long time and you must be well. I can’t have another person look after me, so you must take care of yourself.”…Then another quote, “I am looked after,” he pointed up at the clouds.’ [Chuckles.] ‘“You understand?”…“You need to rest, to be alone. I see that is good for you. So when you go back to Ojai, you must arrange it and not the everlasting letters, typing, and Foundation things. I will write to you, but you mustn’t have all those nonsensical letters. In India I will give them to Sunanda.”’
‘I asked him, apart from looking after him, if he had another reason I should survive him.’
‘“I have no one else but you. I’m not being selfish.”’
‘I said, apart from that, was there something I must do when he is no longer alive.’
‘“Could be.”…“Someone must see to it that it doesn’t go to pieces”’—you know…
M: ‘We talked about the responsibility of Foundation members to talk or not to talk, but he didn’t make it any clearer. There should not be a ban on talking, but they mustn’t interpret. Others will, but Foundation members mustn’t. But where is the line? Right now he is critical of Pama having spoken on a tour that he and Sunanda have just made with the videos in South India, because he thinks that Pama doesn’t understand the teachings. It’s okay for Sunanda to have talked. Pupul won’t talk, he said, but she is about to write a book. It will inevitably be seen as a book written by someone close to Krishnaji and the Foundation. Where is the line in all this? He says he will go into it, and it has changed his mind about urging people to talk. But he seems presently to duck the question. Talking of Ojai, he said he wished he could find a little place where he could get away where no one would know where he is, somewhere near the beach, near Santa Barbara perhaps.’ He had this feeling often, of wanting to get away where nobody knew where he was.
S: Yes. We’ve talked about this.
M: And one reason he seemed to enjoy the driving to Saanen from Brockwood was that really nobody knew where he was, expect that he was somewhere in France.
S: Yes, yes.
M: He felt a pressure, and he felt it particularly strongly in Gstaad when all the people were there and the talks were going on. He said it was like a psychic pressure, everybody intent on him.
The next day says, ‘Packing, packing, packing. Lunch was with Krishnaji, Vanda, Dr. Parchure, and me. Nadia Kossiakof came at 4 p.m. to say goodbye to Krishnaji. We went afterward for the last of this summer’s walks to the end of the wood. He paused by the edge of the field, stared at the mountains a few moments and said, “A l’année prochaine.”’ [S chuckles.] ‘The packing was all done by the evening, and we were ready to leave in the morning.’
August fifteenth. ‘Krishnaji, Dr. Parchure, and I said goodbye to Vanda and Fosca, and left at 10 a.m. for Geneva via Les Mosses, Aigle, and the autoroute. We arrived at the airport in one hour and ten minutes, 160 kilometers.’ [Both chuckle.] ‘I dropped the car with Hertz, and we took the 1:30 p.m. Swiss Air to London. There was an endless wait in immigration—too many flights had arrived at once. Dorothy met us, and Jim in another car took the luggage. Brockwood was looking beautiful. Krishnaji had supper downstairs with the few who are here. We took the Mercedes around the lanes to be sure its battery was charged. We both feel it is good to be back. I talked to Mary Links and unpacked.’
The next day, ‘Krishnaji, Doctor Parchure, and I took the 10:23 a.m. to London. Joe met us at Waterloo and drove us to Berkley Square, where Dr. Parchure had an ear test. Krishnaji came with me to Morgan Guarantee where I closed my account, and then we went to Culpeper’s for sundries. Then we looked for a beige cardigan as I had foolishly left mine in the Geneva Airport yesterday.’
S: Would that have been at Peal’s?
M: Probably. ‘At Fortnum’s, Mary and Joe lunched with us at 12:45 p.m. Joe took Krishnaji to the dentist for an adjustment to his bridge, and me to the hairdresser to get my hair cut. I met Krishnaji at the dentist, and Joe drove us both back to Waterloo, where we caught the 4:20 p.m. to Petersfield.’
August seventeenth. ‘Krishnaji rested while I did laundry and other household chores. After lunch I went to Alresford and opened a checking account at the Westminster Bank, then back to do the entire walk with Krishnaji and Dorothy in the grove, which has been tidied. It is most beautifully neat and we did further weeding and pruning. Madrisa Samuel rang from Varengeville.’ Madrisa Samuel was a friend of Pascaline Mallet. Varengeville is where the Mallets live in Normandy or Brittany, I forget which…
S: And Krishnaji used to stay there.
M: Yes, he used to stay there. ‘Madrisa called to tell me that Pascaline is ill and in pain; so they cannot come to the Gathering. They are taking X-rays today for her intestinal pain.’
There’s really nothing the next day except that I helped make scones for the Gathering.
The nineteenth. ‘I worked mostly at the desk. The Digbys came to lunch and we talked afterward with Krishnaji about publishing. Should more of the dialogues with David Bohm be published? During the late afternoon walk with Krishnaji and Dorothy, she twisted an ankle.’
The next day, ‘Krishnaji was tired, so he stayed in bed all day, and I had a long talk with Dr. Parchure about this. In the afternoon I went to the bank in Alresford and scraped the side of the Mercedes getting out of the parking lot. Then I went to Winchester to get a handbag as a gift for Mrs. Parchure. I felt dizzy for a few minutes.’
August twenty-first. ‘Using a school car, I went to meet John and Barbara Briggs at Petersfield at noon, then showed them around Brockwood. They lunched with us and afterward John interviewed Krishnaji for World Paper.’ I don’t know what that was. ‘Then I took them back to the train. Krishnaji and Dorothy took a small walk. A report from Louis Blau on the house sale is discouraging.’
The next day, ‘Krishnaji rested. I worked mostly at my desk. We took a small walk in the afternoon. Krishnaji had a cable from Rajagopal sending love, etcetera, and greetings to me.’ [S chuckles.]
August twenty-third. ‘Krishnaji, Dr. Parchure, and I went to London where Joe again met us and dropped Parchure at the ear place. We went to Mary and Joe’s flat, where we lunched and talked. Joe eventually took Krishnaji to the dentist, where Thompson spent two-and-a-half hours fixing the bridge Krishnaji had dropped at Tannegg. I stayed and talked with Mary. Then, Joe took me to Portland Place, where Dr. Parchure met us; and when Mr. Thompson was finished with Krishnaji, Joe took us to Waterloo. Scott Forbes and Kathy arrived from the U.S. They were married in Maine.’ [S chuckles.]
August twenty-fourth. ‘Krishnaji rested. I helped in the tent preparations. The Digbys arrived in time for supper and are in the West Wing spare room. Also Edgar Graf came and is in the West Wing dining room made into a guest room. We are now 140 people at meals in the house. A letter and miscellaneous papers about the Malibu house finally came from Louis Blau. He and Evelyne will be in London next week. The house news is pessimistic.’
The next day, ‘Rain. Krishnaji did exercises and had the usual oil massage by Dr. Parchure before breakfast. At 11:30 a.m., he gave the first of this year’s Brockwood talks in a huge marquee. Before the talk, I announced the change of discussion plans, and asked for written questions, which will be given to Krishnaji. After the talk, Krishnaji and I had fruit and salad in the West Wing kitchen, then returned to the tent for the hot course. I sat by the Oak Grove School picture exhibition and talked to Joan Gordon and others. Later I walked with Krishnaji and Dorothy and made yogurt.’
August twenty-sixth. ‘The weather was better. We had the same schedule as yesterday. Krishnaji gave a deeply moving talk number two  on “senses have no past.” “Knowledge is part of ignorance as it is always incomplete.” Mary Links and Amanda were there, also the Hamish Thompsons’—that’s the dentist and his wife—‘and John Briggs. Krishnaji, Mary, Amanda, and I had coffee in our kitchen. We had only a short walk at 5 p.m. This morning, Dr. Parchure had me come to observe Krishnaji’s exercise so I can keep track in his absence. Krishnaji thinks it’s unnecessary.’ [Both chuckle.]
August twenty-seventh, ‘I did exercises with Krishnaji. Later he and I sorted the over ninety questions handed in for the question-and-answer sessions. I typed the ones he chose. After lunch, Krishnaji briefly saw Carlos and Emy Ban, a Brazilian couple, then Krishnaji and I walked.’ There’s a note in the little book that sayS: ‘Mountbatten and Brabourne grandson killed by an IRA bomb in a boat.’ That was because I knew the Brabournes—she was Lord Mountbatten’s daughter, and I had known them in California.
August twenty-eighth. ‘Krishnaji held the first public discussion or question-and-answer session with the new arrangements. He read a written-in question, answered it, and went on to the next one. He did five in all today. It went very well . In the afternoon he talked to a woman, a Mrs. Ann Alexander.’ I don’t know who that was. ‘Krishnaji and I took a short walk. After supper I talked to a Gordon Hall.’ I also can’t remember who that was, ‘then to Shakuntala Krishna, who has a son at Wolf Lake.’
The twenty-ninth. ‘I took the Mercedes to the Mercedes agency in Chichester for repair to the damage I did the other day. Dorothy followed and brought me back. At 3:30 p.m. there was a trustee meeting with Krishnaji, Dorothy, David Bohm, the Digbys, Mary Cadogan, Dr. Parchure, and me about what Krishnaji wants us to do about speaking on the teachings. The decision was to speak only out of our own understanding, making clear to others that it is only that.’ That was the good of all that. He said you can say whatever you want to say, but you must label it as your understanding and not what Krishnamurti means. And that was a vast relief to me, because it was a clear definition.
M: ‘Krishnaji emphasized that, “The Foundations are not”—underlined—“spiritual organizations and have no”—underlined—“spiritual authority.” We then went for a short walk, Krishnaji, Dorothy, and I. After dinner we sorted questions for tomorrow’s meeting.’
The next day, ‘Krishnaji held the second question-and-answer meeting in the marquee. It went very well . We had fruit and salad in the West Wing kitchen and then the rest in the tent. In the evening I talked briefly to Shakuntala Krishna, a teacher and mother of a boy at the Wolf Lake School. Louis Blau telephoned from London. The buyer for Malibu has backed out after Lou refused his low bid.’
The thirty-first, ‘I borrowed Dorothy’s Cortina and took Anneke, Joan Wright, and Dr. Parchure to Winchester shopping. We were back in time for me to fetch Krishnaji’s lunch tray. He spent the day in bed resting. I talked to John Briggs in the afternoon and to Mrs. Alexander in the evening. Also I talked to a Brazilian, Mr. Vanderlucio Q. Abelha
about a film on Brockwood.’ People all the time wanted to do films.
September first. ‘The suggested brewer’s yeast at breakfast upset Krishnaji’s stomach. He gave the third Brockwood talk but ate no lunch. He did sit with Mary and Joe while we had coffee in the kitchen. At 2:30 p.m., I attended a Publication Committee meeting. It was decided not to publish the rest of the Krishnaji and Bohm dialogues now but make them available at centers for people to read on request. The next book is tentatively on questions and answers. Krishnaji came at 5 p.m. and took Dorothy and me away for a walk.’ This decision upset Saral Bohm very much.
S: Yes. We’ve talked about these tapes before.
M: The second was ‘a sunny day. Krishnaji gave the fourth and final talk, ate as usual in the kitchen, and then in the tent. People began to leave.’
September third, ‘Krishnaji rested. I did much laundry and the pipes again broke, leaking water in the kitchen and some through to the hall below.’ [Both chuckle.]
The next day. ‘Dorothy and I drove to Heathrow to see Dr. Parchure off to Bombay. He went on a Syrian airline and we stayed with him through the check-in. Dorothy and I got back in time to walk with Krishnaji. Our new walk is through the grove, around the field, down along fields by the pheasant wood to the lower field, and then up the drive.’ That’s the best walk.
M: ‘I talked to Betsy in London.’
September fifth, ‘The Mountbatten funeral in Westminster Abbey was on television. I watched it on Krishnaji’s set while he read detective stories in bed, now and then glancing at the screen and making caustic comments on how silly it all was.’ [Chuckles.] ‘His objections to royalty were all he saw in it. I found it very moving in the sense of something deep in the bones of British ways and feelings splendidly done and in a kind of language of form that is part of these people, a majesty of tradition in the face of the squalid evil of the murder and the deep affection for the man himself, a pageant of honor to an uncommon Englishman. Krishnaji had no use for it, but endured my watching with occasional jibes.’ [Laughs.] ‘I did letters and we walked in the afternoon.’ [S laughs too.] He was very anti-royalist.
S: Yes. [M chuckles again.] I’m sympathetic with that.
M: The sixth. ‘It was a very warm day. In Doris’s Mini, we went to Petersfield and took the 10:23 a.m. train to London. Looking out at the office buildings, Krishnaji repeated his nine-to-five office disdain. “I would never do it.”’
‘M: “What would you do?”’
‘K: “I don’t know—something else.”’
M: [Chuckles.] ‘“What if there were no choices? What if you were on the dole? Or a black person, eighteen years old, unable to get any job?”’
‘K: “I’d do something about it. I am a revolutionary.”’ [Both M and S chuckle.]
‘Joe met us at Waterloo and took us to Huntsman. Krishnaji fitted two trousers. We walked to Hatchards, then…’ This is absolutely standard issue.
S: I know, exactly. [Both laugh.]
M: I don’t have to read it. You know what it says.
S: That’s right; this is the pilgrimage, and as you describe it, I’m seeing the whole path along which you walk.
M: ‘We went through the arcade.’
S: Of course, the Burlington Arcade.
M: ‘…to Hatchards, then joined Mary for lunch at Fortnum’s. Talked of the second volume of the biography. The question was of how he got the way he is. He said the choices were, “a biologic freak, a medium, or three, a late maturing mind.” He said if he were writing, he would consider all these very carefully, or is it something else? He would be with the person, K, and he would study him, question him. He, Krishnaji, discards the freak, and the medium. He said he did mature very late, really when he was sixty-five.’ [Both laugh.]
S: Oh, good, there’s hope for me yet.
M: ‘Today he would never put up with what Rajagopal and Rosalind did. He would throw them out. Mary said that Rajagopal doesn’t realize how Krishnaji has changed, and so attributes it all to “wicked influences”’—that’s me.
S: [laughing] Yes.
M: ‘I bought some coffee, cheese, and chocolates for Krishnaji and we walked to Truefitt where Krishnaji had his hair cut, then Joe drove us back to Waterloo.’ That’s an absolutely prototype day.
S: Yes, exactly. [Both chuckle again.]
M: The exception for this day is that, ‘I left my briefcase on the train. I realized this at the Petersfield station, told the ticket office, took Krishnaji to Brockwood, and returned at 6:20 p.m. for the briefcase, which was brought back by the train on its return trip to London.’ That was nice of them. ‘I spoke to the Marogers; they will bring Diane here next week.’
The seventh. ‘A warm, lovely day. Krishnaji dictated Letters to the Schools number thirty-three to be sent out on January first. Dorothy lent me her car to go to Winchester on errands.’
The next day, ‘Krishnaji dictated Letters to the Schools number thirty-four. I helped get lunch in the kitchen. There was a letter from Erna about Krishnaji and the Templeton Award.’ That was some man who gives an award to great people who are doing great things. It was discussed that he would get it, or he did get it, I can’t remember which, but Krishnaji didn’t want to accept it. ‘The Oak Grove School’s present monthly deficit is over $6,000.’
S: [chuckles] We should be so lucky these days.
M: Yes. [Chuckles.] ‘Krishnaji, Dorothy, and I went for a walk.’
September ninth. ‘Krishnaji dictated the thirty-fifth Letters to the Schools. We took a short walk, then worked on the rhododendrons in the grove.’
The tenth. ‘Again I borrowed Dorothy’s Cortina, went to Petersfield, and took the 9:20 a.m. train to London, then the Underground to Marble Arch, walked to the hairdressers, had my hair cut, walked to Nelson’s, and ate my sandwich in Grosvenor Square. Did various errands, bought a pair of Ferragamo shoes and a beige cardigan at W. Bill, chocolates at Fortnum’s, and cheese at Paxton.’ Paxton is on the street behind Fortnum’s—what is that street behind?
S: Jermyn Street.
M: Yes. ‘And so back on the Underground to Waterloo. I got plants at Petersfield before driving back to Brockwood.’
The eleventh: ‘Krishnaji dictated Letters to the Schools number thirty-six. He said earlier in the morning that he had been sitting very straight in bed, mind empty, and there came a feeling as if something “were pouring into my head. It lasted ten to fifteen seconds to a minute. It was not imagination.” In the afternoon, we went for an earlier walk, and then at 6:30, Krishnaji, Dorothy, and I went out’—underlined—‘to dine at the Old House in Wickham. It is no longer open for lunch. Krishnaji wanted to go, so we went out feeling very festive, having ordered our vegetarian fare ahead of time. We had an intricate and excellent salad, then a quiche of spinach and tomato, new potatoes, and string beans from their garden. For dessert, Krishnaji chose crème brûlée with an amazing relish and no ill effects.’ [Chuckles.] ‘We were back by 9:30 p.m. A fine evening.’ You can’t say I don’t provide details!
S: [laughing] Yes, and these are all very important.
M: September twelfth. ‘Narasimhan telephoned from London to say that Jayalakshmi is back in Madras from New York. Marie-Bertrande and Jean-Michel Maroger arrived for the seminar, but Diane did not come. It’s too much to move her. They are staying in the West Wing guest room. Suzanne and Marjolaine are also here for the seminar, and so is Maurice Wilkins and the Bohms, etcetera. Krishnaji, Dorothy, and I walked in the afternoon. I spoke to Betsy on her birthday.’
The next day. ‘At 11:30 a.m., Krishnaji held a seminar on “The world is becoming increasingly violent and disordered. What can we do as human beings to change it?” About eighty people in all are taking part.’ That’s a lot of people.
S: It was a nightmare to video, I remember.
M: Yes, it would be. ‘In the afternoon, Krishnaji talked to David Bohm and me about Erna’s suggestion that Krishnaji reconsider the Templeton Award. Krishnaji still feels it would be wrong to accept an award for teaching.’ He didn’t want to accept it, I think, because he didn’t think it was right to be paid for what he did.’
M: ‘We also discussed at length the KFA’s financial problems with the Oak Grove School. The walk was with Krishnaji, Dorothy, and me. After supper, I watched a video of the Buddhist discussion Krishnaji held on June twenty-eighth with Dr. Rahula, Phiroz Mehta, etcetera. I talked to my brother and his wife, who are in London at Claridge’s until Sunday.’
September fourteenth, ‘Krishnaji held the second session of seminar. After lunch, I did errands at Alresford and Petersfield, borrowing Dorothy’s car. I was back in time for the usual walk, but Krishnaji felt tired afterward. I went to the staff meeting at 7 p.m.’
The fifteenth. ‘Krishnaji held the third seminar session at 11:30 a.m. I left immediately afterward and caught the 1:33 p.m. train to London and went to Claridge’s to meet my brother and his wife. We spent all afternoon talking, and I caught the 6:50 p.m. train back to Petersfield. Bud and Lisa return to New York tomorrow.’
September sixteenth, ‘Krishnaji held the fourth seminar. Marie-Bertrande told me about some worrying eye trouble that Jean-Michel is having. Krishnaji, in the evening, put his hands on him. The walk in the afternoon was with Krishnaji, Dorothy, Marie-Bertrande, Jean-Michel, and me.’
The seventeenth. ‘Krishnaji held the fifth seminar on “What happens when there’s no sense of individuality?” and “What is action without the actors?” After lunch, Krishnaji, Marie-Bertrande, and I talked to Jean-Michel about having his symptoms diagnosed. Jean-Michel came on the walk. In the morning Krishnaji had said that a curious feeling came on him. He said, “I felt like a young boy.”’
September eighteenth. ‘Krishnaji held the sixth seminar, completing it. Most people left. The Marogers went to London, and came back at 8 p.m. They ate supper in the West Wing kitchen, and then they left to catch the ferry from Southampton. Krishnaji, Dorothy, and I walked in the afternoon in a light rain.’
September nineteenth. ‘It rained, and the house was quiet again. I worked at the desk all day. Krishnaji and I walked.’
The next day. ‘In the morning, I worked at the desk. In the afternoon, I drove to Alresford to post a tax letter; then to Petersfield to meet Betsy, who came for a night. Got back in time for a walk; Krishnaji, Dorothy, Betsy, and me. I had a long talk with Betsy after supper.’
September twenty-first. ‘It was a lovely, clear morning. Betsy had breakfast with me in the kitchen. Then Krishnaji dictated a long letter to Erna about the Ojai school, work in the USA, and his continuing aversion to accepting the Templeton Award. I took Betsy to Petersfield to get the train back to London. I got back in time for lunch. After typing Krishnaji’s letters, he, Dorothy, and I went for a walk. I telephoned Erna and Theo about the fire in Ojai on Sulphur Mountain.’
The twenty-second. ‘The weather is colder. I attended a staff meeting at 9 a.m., and Krishnaji held the first of three discussions with the staff at 11:30 a.m. School policies on sex seem to be a current concern. The walk was with Krishnaji, Dorothy, and me.’
The next day, ‘Krishnaji held the second discussion with the staff. Walk as usual, but mostly we worked on rhododendrons.’
September twenty-fourth. ‘Krishnaji held the third discussion with the staff—awareness on conflict dissolves it. He left dealing with school problems to the awareness of the staff acting together, which upset Dorothy. The Santa Barbara Magazine with an article on Krishnaji and the Oak Grove School arrived. Again a short walk and work on the rhododendrons.’
The twenty-fifth. ‘Krishnaji dictated letters. He was tired in the afternoon, so we only worked a little on the rhododendrons in the grove. There was a meeting with Brian Jenkins, Dorothy, Stephen, Shakuntala, Kathy Harris, and John King about Brian going to India and other matters.’
The next day, ‘Krishnaji’s voice is thick, but he has no sore throat or cough. He did exercise and went down to lunch but didn’t walk. I fetched Usha Goenka, the Tantia’s daughter from Bombay, at Petersfield. She lunched here and left later in the afternoon.’
September twenty-seventh. ‘I fetched the Marogers with Daphne. Daphne is here to attend school, he is here for the video interview with Krishnaji and Jean-Louis Dewez. Jean-Michel is in the West Wing. Krishnaji’s voice is still hoarse, so he spent the day in bed. I worked most of the day at the desk. New students arrived, thirty-seven of them. Krishnaji placed his hands on Jean-Michel to cure his eye and ear trouble.’
S: At this period we had the new students arrive a few days before the students continuing on from the previous year.
M: September twenty-eighth. ‘Krishnaji’s voice is better, almost clear. At 11:30 a.m. in the West Wing drawing room, Krishnaji did a videotaped one-hour discussion with Jean-Louis Dewez. Jean-Louis put his questions in French, and Krishnaji answered mostly in English. Jean-Michel will later add the French translation for showing the videotape in France. In the afternoon, they did a second hour videotaped interview on education. All this was done in color. Krishnaji insisted on a walk, so he, Dorothy, and I went across the fields to the west on a still, perfect afternoon. There was no wind. It was so beautiful. Krishnaji put his hands on Jean-Michel.’ That was to try to help his eyes.
September twenty-ninth. ‘The former students arrive for the start of the term. I worked on the transcription of answers Krishnaji gave to the questions Pupul wanted me to ask him on war years in Ojai, 1939 to 1947. Krishnaji was up for lunch and walked in the afternoon with Dorothy and me across the fields. I looked at yesterday’s video. Later, I watched with Krishnaji the pope’s arrival in Dublin.’ [Chuckles.]
September thirtieth. ‘It was the opening day of term. At 11:30 a.m., Krishnaji spoke to the school on what it is all about. In the afternoon, Krishnaji, Dorothy, and I walked across the fields. Krishnaji had a stomachache after supper, but it subsided.’
October first. ‘I went to London, fetched my eyeglasses, did errands, met Paul Anstee, and went with him looking for a mirror for Ojai’s hall. We didn’t find one. He took me to Waterloo and so I got back to Brockwood by 6:20 p.m.’
The second. ‘Krishnaji spoke alone with the students, while the staff had a meeting, which I attended. Krishnaji, Dorothy, and I walked across the fields. The dogs chased a fawn. A vet came and the fawn is being cared for in the barn.’
S: I remember, a fawn was attacked by…
S: No, Kip. Whisper wouldn’t have hurt anything, but Whisper, I think, joined Kip in the chase, but Kip savaged the fawn.
M: Oh, dear. I don’t remember it.
S: Yes. Kip was not a nice dog.
M: That’s horrid. Dear me.
The next day. ‘The fawn is still alive. I typed Letters to the Schools. Walked across the fields with Krishnaji and Dorothy.’
The fourth. ‘I typed most of the day. Krishnaji talked alone with students. There was the usual walk in the afternoon.’
October fifth ‘was a beautiful, still, golden day. I typed most of the morning, but managed to get to Petersfield for some errands. There was another staff meeting.’
The sixth. ‘Krishnaji spent the day in bed. I typed. I walked alone and gathered firewood.’
The seventh. ‘Krishnaji spoke to the whole school at noon. Then, he and I walked with Whisper in the afternoon, and he said how lucky we are to live in this beautiful place.’
The next day, ‘I again typed. Krishnaji saw Brian Jenkins after lunch. He and I walked in a light rain. There was a school meeting at 5 p.m.’
October ninth. ‘Krishnaji talked to the staff from noon until 2 p.m. Some of them are very resistant to David Shama and his plans to build at Brockwood. Krishnaji talked to Scott after lunch. We had the usual walk, and then there was a meeting between Krishnaji, David Shama, Dorothy, and me.’
October tenth. ‘It is the beginning of Krishnaji’s three-week rest. It was a rainy day. I typed in the morning. Krishnaji and I had lunch in the West Wing. At 4 p.m., Brian Jenkins drove Krishnaji and me to Chichester where I picked up the Mercedes with the door repaired and repainted, etcetera, but still no door handle. Krishnaji and I drove home in it.’
The eleventh. ‘Krishnaji and I went to London on the 10:20 a.m. train. Joe met us and drove us first to Christie’s, where I had Pascaline’s pin evaluated.’ She gave a pin as a donation to Brockwood. ‘Then we went to Huntsman for Krishnaji’s fitting. Mary lunched with us at Fortnum’s, and it was very leisurely, as the Thompson dental appointment was postponed till Monday. We bought books at Hatchards, cheese at Paxton, and then got a taxi to Waterloo. We were back at Brockwood by 6 p.m. I had a 7 p.m. meeting about Brian Jenkins’ plans with Brian, Dorothy, Stephen, Kathy Harris, Shakuntala, and John King.’ Do you remember what that was about?
S: Brian had inherited some money, and he had some plan…I can’t remember. I don’t think anything came of it.
We’re going to have to end this here. We’ve run out of tape again.
 These discussions that Krishnaji had with only students were never recorded, but on the several occasions I questioned students about these talks after they occurred, the students definitely felt they were different to the talks in which the staff were present. This difference could have been at least partly because the students felt freer without the staff, or it might have been because Krishnaji only needed to address the younger person’s mindset, or because the audience would have been a third smaller without the adults present and so more intimate, or perhsps something else. Whatever the reason, the students felt the talks that were just for them were different, and they valued them. Back to text.
 This was Krishnaji’s famous break with Theosophy and all that they had created supposedly for him and his work. Back to text.
 A link to the text of the first question-and-answer session at Brockwood, 1979. Back to text.
 A link to the text of the second question-and-answer session at Brockwood, 1979. Back to text.